Catch Me, Catch Me With Your Hands
by Lamia-Kuei
Summary: A turian becomes curious and then romantically interested in a human coworker, to the amusement of his friends. As luck would have it, she's interested back. OC characters, kmeme fill.
1. Chapter 1

"You idiot. You colossal-"

"Exactly. That woman's done dirty, nasty, glorious things to you and you didn't even reciprocate?"

Myrtus felt his neck flush with consternation as Rubellin continued to mutter about his mental deficiencies and Tenax just stared at him. Before he could even begin attempting to explain his oversight to his friends Rubellin stopped long enough to turn, surveying the cafeteria.

"Hey. Hey, Davidson! Come here!" he flagged down a human from the PR department.

Davidson approached their table.

"What's up?"

"Say you take a woman home-"

"Dude, is this about sex? There's company harassment rules about that," Davidson stuck some french fries in his mouth, smiling mischievously.

Rubellin's mandibles tightened for a fraction and he glowered at Davidson. Tenax chuckled. Myrtus stayed silent.

"This is... I believe," Tenax ventured. "A 'bro talk'. Is that correct?"

"Okay, bro talk, sounds important," Davidson pulled a chair to sit. "Lay it on me."

"There is a woman."

"Okay."

"The woman does things," Rubellin's voice is thick with innuendo.

"What kind of things?"

Davidson watches as every single one of the three turians at the table get the same shifty, excited look. It's weird and funny at the same time.

"... Let me guess, it's kinky, huh?"

"Completely," Tenax says.

"And you like it, so what's the big deal? You guys just don't have any problem with sex," Davidson wonders where the angle is.

"That is true," Tenax nods. "So in your human opinion, is it just, fair, or-"

Myrtus made a distressed thrum from his chest.

"-at all the behavior of a gentleman to not reciprocate in any way?"

Davidson crinkles his brows, looking at Myrtus.

"Dude. Dude, you didn't get her off? … Dude."

"... I fell asleep!" Myrtus desperately whispered. "Stop looking at me like that! I couldn't help it!"

Davidson takes a pensive sip from his drink.

"Well, guys, that's more complicated. If you actually black out..."

Myrtus punches Rubellin's arm in vindication.

"And she... leaves your place before you wake up, I guess that's just what happens, right?"

"Oh, but you see, he was at her place," Rubellin punches Myrtus back. "That means he's a moron!"

"Dude."

"She even got him breakfast-"

"Dude."

"And he ate it and here he is today!"

"You fucked up, man," Davidson said decisively. "You could've done something during breakfast. Unless she was... like... not hot in the daylight?"

Myrtus makes another broken noise and Tenax suddenly cocks his head, alert.

"In the interests of getting a human's opinion, what say you? Your Three o'clock. Soup bar."

Davidson tries as casually as he can to turn his head to take a look at this mystery lady while all of the turians simultaneously ducked their heads down to resume eating.

"... Shit," Davidson swiveled in his seat and hunched down also over his food (which incidentally made their table look ridiculously suspicious). "That's Veronica Wei! Dude! You didn't say you were into humans!"

"You're right. He isn't. Because he didn't get _into_ anybody at all last night," Rubellin sneered, taking a kick this time from Myrtus.

"Sidetracking," Tenax cut in. "Davidson. Hot or not?"

"Now that I know she can black out a turian? And whatever it was is something you can't even talk about? Majorly hot. Freaky-deaky hot. And you guys better not say anything about what I just said because this company has rules and I just started getting serious with Samantha."

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

"Quit your worrying," Rubellin replied. "Now. What should this fool do? How would you go about fixing this situation with a human?"

"Why do you care?" Davidson asked.

Rubellin just looked at Myrtus, who crossed his arms. Tenax leaned back in his seat, watching the two of them.

"... You totally like her, huh? Dude," Davidson grinned. "Just because some lady screws your brains out-"

"Shut up!" Myrtus snapped.

"In his defense, Miss Wei has interested him long before last night," Tenax explained. "It's just simply baffling how he failed so completely to follow through given how long it's been. Although, to be fair, he hasn't been with a human before, so I'll hold my judgment on his complete inadequacy until further information is obtained."

Davidson leaned away as Tenax leaned forward. Trust a C-Sec officer's son to get all interrogation-y.

"How drastic is this sort of insult for a human woman?"

"...Uh, look," Davidson shrugged. "It's not great that she didn't get anything out of it, but it's no big deal to have a guy fall asleep. Guys just fall asleep, you know? And since he was a total virgin-"

Rubellin cackled.

"with humans, maybe she wasn't expecting too much?"

"Possible," Tenax allowed, while Myrtus fumed.

"You should just, I don't know, apologize? Try to make it up to her? I don't think she'd go and get you breakfast if she was really mad at you."

Myrtus looked hesitant.

"Myrtus, my man. Send her a message. Get her reply. Now."

"Now?" Myrtus fidgeted. "Really?"

"Dude, she eats lunch in her cubicle. Now."

"I don't know-"

"Shit, man, let me do this," Davidson reached out and took Myrtus's arm to activate Myrtus's omnitool.

"Davidson-"

"I got this! 'Hey, Veronica. Can we talk?' Sending. See? Easy."

A new message pinged. Rubellin and Tenax crowded in to see.

"...'Which project?' Okay, she thinks it's about work. Not too bad. 'It's about last night, is that okay?' Sending."

"Davidson, I don't-"

"...'Sexting during work hours, pretty improper, Candyman'!?" Davidson's eyes widened.

Myrtus wrenched his arm away.

"Candyman?" Tenax murmured, perplexed.

Rubellin just cackled again from the renewed flush on Myrtus's neck.

"Dude, 'Candyman'? She calls you-"

"Shut. UP!"

"She even put a smiley at the end!" Davidson made a victory punch into the air. "She still digs you. You have a second chance. Just don't fuck it up."

Davidson finished the last of his meal.

"Seriously, good luck with that. Bye," he waved before leaving.

Myrtus sighs and then notices both Rubellin and Tenax looking at him expectantly.

"I don't know why I tell either of you anything at all!" Myrtus declares as he gets up also.

Rubellin smirks and makes a rude gesture while Tenax shrugs.

"Miss Wei is correct, though. Sexting during work hours is improper," Tenax mentions.

Myrtus snorts and makes for his own cubicle. He carefully sits at an angle where people can see that he's there but not necessarily whether or not he's actually working. He brings up his messages on his omnitool and gets a proper look at Veronica's last message. Davidson's right. There's a smiley. It's a human specific one; it's winking and sticking a tongue out at him. Mischievousness. It heartens him and frightens him at the same time because it's good that she's not upset by his mistake, but now he has to come up with a reply on his own.

"I'm not doing anything improper, Veronica."

He's not sure if it is too brief. But he's sent it off before he loses his nerve.

"Are you sure? Because last night wasn't proper at all Candyman."

Myrtus's tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth. He could just hear it, how she'd say it. How she'd look up at him, bold and impertinent.

"It wasn't. I want to apologize."

There was a pause. Myrtus drummed his fingers against his desk as he waited. The pause stretched.

"For what?"

For what? Myrtus's gizzard constricted with mortification.

"I apologize. I was selfish. You were not-" Spirits, he was actually typing this. "satisfied."

The wait was even worse this time.

"Myrtus, I think I have some explaining to do myself. How about after work today? By the way, I don't have a problem being improper. As long as the company is right."

Myrtus smiles from it; that doesn't sound dire at all. This time, the message came with an attachment and he doesn't hesitate to open it.

It's a vid file. Silent. Dimmed light. He makes out movement before the image focuses. It's a closeup of slender human hand tracing a path downward over the geography of turian abdominal plating and the thumb presses slow and sure over the seam of groin plates. Myrtus chokes and closes the vid just as the plates start their shifting. He sits stock still in his seat, his hand closed over his omitool wrist.

It's her. It's him. He's sure. In a vid!

His mind was going in circles, wondering how much footage there was. Was every single thing there? Every single unrelentingly depraved moment?

Today was going to be impossible, Myrtus knew it. He was swimming in confusion and arousal. And he had four more hours to go on shift.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

The transfers from the Noveria branch were being given the tour. Three new engineers were assigned to Myrtus' department. It would probably take a few months before everybody felt truly comfortable with each other; with the new faces getting brought up to speed on various projects, and everybody figuring out the shuffled responsibilities. He'd met Veronica that day, when everyone's department heads arranged a lunch meeting for the entire office. He didn't notice her, in particular.

She noticed him, though. His marks were a pale cream, standing out from his bronze-y plates, forming precise blocky, sharply outlined strokes confined on the mandibles and a single stripe down his chin. She thought that the marks created an interesting, nearly typographical effect.

He found out eventually that she was a technical writer and they worked on many of the same projects. Veronica preferred getting direct face to face answers about specs and development by going the three floors down to engineering instead of setting up vidconferences or even messaging. She started out with the two Noveria engineers she was most familiar with and then branched out, finally stopping by at his desk. She had a rapid patter when she spoke that was more salarian than human to his hearing. He hadn't encountered a human like her before.

Later, Davidson clarified this difference; Veronica was of the same ethnicity as the first Shanxi colonists. She was in the habit for sheer efficiency's sake of flipping back and forth from Standard to Mandarin Chinese as the mood took her. Myrtus thought at first that this would be a source of delay and confusion, but it turned out that Veronica was a champion code-switcher in not just language but in style; she went from dry technical jargon to making pop culture references in her office communications without a hitch.

Later, development deadlines were pushed forward and he and the rest of the engineers were put into what the humans called 'crunch time'. They were pulling consecutive all-nighters, sleeping in cots in their cubicles, practically running on stims. Veronica and the other technical writers were right there with them, editing and composing copy as quickly as possible for all the tech. They squeezed in to any available cubicles on the engineers' floor, and it was definitely then that Myrtus really began to notice her.

She'd cracked her knuckles and boasted to the salarian tech writers that nobody was going to match her ten fingers for output. Now give her caffeine and get off of her runway. There was some disbelief, but results were results; she was putting out copy in Standard and Chinese drafts that required no second run throughs. She did all of that with a backdrop of what were scandalously explicit songs about... sex.

He had to pass her temporary set up on the way towards the vending machine for energy bars and drinks filled with dubious amounts of stimulants and he couldn't help his translator picking up on the lyrics each time.

"_How does it feel?"_

"_Close the door..."_

And very frankly:

"_Let's get it on, sugar! Let's get it on..." _

That last song was the apotheosis of 'baby-making songs' according to Daro, an objectively disinterested salarian tech writer who had heard it all before. The incongruity of what he was hearing and Veronica's maniacally regimented tapping on her keyboard gave him pause. Unfortunately, he paused right at her cubicle and Veronica turned as his shadow fell over her screen.

"You need anything?" she asked.

"_I say yes, boy, oh yes-"_

She turned the volume down.

"Ah," Myrtus dithered. "...Need more coffee?"

Veronica considered her mug.

"Sure. Thanks."

"Right."

Veronica was about to resume typing, but the fact that Myrtus hadn't left yet made her curious.

"Myrtus? Anything else?"

"Your playlist is pretty interesting."

Interesting? Was his mouth malfunctioning?

"You like?" Veronica reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "What other people call distracting, I call inspiration."

"...Inspiration?"

How was she keeping her face straight with tinny moans and pleading coming out of her console speakers?

"Definitely. Sexual frustration keeps me awake and I don't crash after like for caffeine," she explained, like this was completely logical. "You know how it is."

Did he? Myrtus was sure that sexual frustration would only _frustrate_ him instead of being a productivity aid.

"I hear casual chatter!" Lead Engineer Beloxia stood up from her cubicle, her mandibles quivering with exhaustion and ill humor.

Myrtus automatically straightened to attention. Veronica just laughed.

"Morale break, ma'am!" she called out.

"You'll have no such thing," Beloxia shot back. "And I'll thank you to quit playing any of those, those songs with the- what-are-they-called- saxophones!"

She was jabbing the air for emphasis.

"What, like this?" Veronica flicked the volume up.

A riff of a solo alien instrument tore through the air, high, reverberating, and sounding much too much like a female turian before peaking in coitus.

"MISS WEI!" Beloxia barked, shaking her fist.

Veronica cut the music off, giggling and turning to look up at Myrtus, waggling her eyebrows. Myrtus blinked, perplexed and a little embarrassed, not moving in case that would draw Beloxia's ire onto himself.

Beloxia was disinclined to make further issue, disappearing back into her cubicle, after shaking her fist one last time.

"Guess she wasn't kidding about what that sounds like, huh?" Veronica whispered. "You're getting kind of blue there."

Myrtus coughed, putting a hand to his neck.

"Should've known you'd have weird sex sounding instruments to go with the lyrics."

Veronica snickered to herself, plugging in a set of headphones. She didn't actually want to push Beloxia to the point of getting an official reprimand.

"You're funny," she smiled at him. "Get two packs of sugar with my coffee, okay?"

Oh. Right. He was going to get her coffee.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

He'd asked Rubellin and Tenax if any of the humans in their respective departments, accounting or legal, had similar musical tastes.

"I think that one's just weird for a human," Rubellin shrugged.

Tenax was scrolling through lyrics from some of the songs on his omnitool, getting more incredulous as he went.

"What did Daro call all of this? 'Baby-making music'? I certainly don't see how any of this got public radio play. Historical records to the contrary."

"Davidson!" Rubellin waved. "Human cultural questions time!"

"All right, what do you want?"

"This," Tenax showed Davidson the list of songs and artists. "Are these for public or private listening?"

Davidson glanced down, pursing his lips.

"...Uh, Tenax, I'm not sure I want to be your wingman."

"...What does this have to do with aerial warfare formations?"

Davidson blinked. Tenax blinked back.

"Neeeevermind. What do you actually want to know?"

"What is the typical setting for listening to this type of music?"

"When you want to get laid. With a human lady. Or man. Which ever. Is this you propositioning me, Tenax, because I'm heterosexual-"

"Stop that. Be serious."

"I am! Dude! Seriously, these are classic! Marvin Gaye, Barry White, Prince? I think actual generations of humans were conceived to some of these songs."

"They are... an ancient fertility ritual?" Rubellin ventured.

"Shit, it's like you guys are aliens or something. No! There weren't any fertility rituals!"

"But then why even write songs like this at all?" Tenax was still faintly disapproving. "It's not an appropriate subject matter for music."

"... So you guys will _talk_ about sex, make and watch _porn,_ but not _sing_ about sex? … Dude."

"Essentially," Tenax replied.

"Well, now I know that turians can actually be prudes. My day has been made," Davidson grinned.

"So the context is private with a partner, right?" Myrtus finally asked.

"Well, sure. Have some drinks, put that music on, make out, go on from there... Mood music."

"We don't have mood music," Rubellin looked confused. "Why would you want noise to distract you anyway?"

"I don't even know anything about anything anymore, man," Davidson made a flailing motion with his hands. "You have reached the limit of my knowledge. Can I go now?"

"Do you listen to this? Would you listen to this at work?" Myrtus asked.

"What, here? Nope. That's embarrassing, man. There's work. And then there's, you know," Davidson made more emphatic gestures. "the rest of my life. That's not supposed to mix."

"Is that normal?"

"...Um, yeah? Last I checked, other species have contextual social behaviors also, dude."

"So a human who would listen to this kind of music at work...?"

"Doesn't get embarrassed easy, I guess. Why? Who does that?"

"I don't feel like telling you," Myrtus crossed his arms.

"Ooookay. This a good stopping point on human culture questions time? I say it is. Later."

"It's been educational," Tenax replied.

Davidson rolled his eyes before heading down the hallway.

"Well, now we know. She's weird for a human," Rubellin concluded.

"He said that she just doesn't feel as embarrassed as he would. That's not weird!" Myrtus protested.

"What's really weird is their music, that's the most important thing I've learned," Tenax was back to scrolling through lyrics.

"All of her tech writing coworkers in Noveria were salarian. So she wouldn't even get any reactions from anybody. She'd be used to it," Myrtus nodded to himself. "Has to be."

"Are you done playing C-Sec detective?" Rubellin asked. "You should go, Myrtus. Beloxia's going to come down here and start cracking her whip."

Myrtus nodded and headed for the elevator.

"It's not about answering alien cultural puzzles anymore, is it?" Rubellin murmured.

"Probably not." Tenax closed his omnitool tabs. "I couldn't fathom his tastes with women of our own species, let alone this human."

"Folly. Complete folly," Rubellin shook his head.

"Amusing to watch, though," Tenax shrugged.

Veronica still had her headphones on so Myrtus went to her side, putting a fresh cup of coffee down, tapping her on her shoulder.

"Oh, thanks!" she took off her headphones smiling at him.

"They had different kinds of sugar, so I got two of each," Myrtus laid out a little pile.

"Nice," she picked through them. "You're awesome, Myrtus."

Myrtus hadn't become quite used to the human tendency towards hyperbole even after all the time he'd spent talking with Davidson, so his neck flushed again. Veronica didn't see it, though, as she added sugar to her coffee. She took a test sip of her coffee, nodded to herself at the taste, giving Myrtus a thumbs up before putting her headphones on and turning away.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

Deadline edged closer by the hour. And they were going to make it, everybody could feel it, if they just made a final push.

His console chimed; he'd received a new message. It was cc'd to everybody across departments involved in the project, from Lead Engineer Beloxia.

"Victory will be ours. Prepare for the customary celebration 20 hours after finalization. Location details to follow."

Myrtus yawned. 20 hours. He could even sleep beforehand. He blinked when a crumpled paper cup flew over his cubicle. Daro, who was in the cubicle behind him, stood up, holding the wad of paper that had hit him on the head.

"Is this yours?" he asked Myrtus, mouth down turned even farther than usual.

"..."

"Daro," Veronica rounded the corner, moving quickly and keeping her head and voice low. "Get back down! Don't let Beloxia see you!"

"Yes, of course," Daro saw the merit in this, crouching.

"What's 'customary celebration'? We didn't do that on Noveria," Veronica quickly whispered.

"Turian practice," Daro's gaze flicked towards Myrtus. "Victory party. Food. Alcohol. Sometimes brawling. I prefer hors d'oeuvres myself. Don't particularly like any brawling."

"Oh, okay," Veronica nodded. "Is there any dancing? Is it here or someplace else?"

"There is dance music as part of the festivities. Beloxia tends to find outside venues with robust property insurance. As I've said. Brawling known to occur."

"Okay. Sounds great! And 20 hours is enough time to get ready," Veronica nodded to herself.

"You need 20 hours?" Daro blinked.

"Some of us haven't showered in days, you know," Veronica's mouth quirked. "And as comfy as this dress is-"

She was wearing a typical asari-styled maxi dress favored by interplanetary system company dress codes.

"I need to feel prettier when I get my groove on."

Daro shrugged.

"See you there?" Veronica looked at Myrtus.

"Customary celebrations are sort of mandatory," Myrtus replied.

"Have fun or _else_?" Veronica raised her brows.

Myrtus was in the middle of shaking his head, before realizing that she was joking.

"I'll be there," he said instead.

"Nice! I got to scoot!" Veronica went back to her cubicle.

tbc


	6. Chapter 6

After the very last details were checked and double checked and the entire thing collated, compressed, and dispatched, everybody collapsed. The entire floor was silent as the first twelve hours were devoted to sleep. Eventually the salarians woke after merely three hours and straightened out their cubicles before taking their leave. When Myrtus woke, he looked at the towers of datapads on his desk, decided he would deal with them much later, and went for the elevators.

He pressed the button. He waited.

And waited.

Of course, he mentally muttered. Has to be when I can finally leave this building.

He looked up at the sound of feminine voices approaching. And he could hear Veronica's voice amongst them. His feet were moving before he could think, ducking out of sight around a corner, where the emergency exits were located.

"So. Going to fire up your little helper when you get back home?" asked a feminine voice.

"Oh, yeah," Veronica replied. "The one that comes with a ripcord."

That resulted in tittering.

"God, Veronica you do not own-"

"Noveria has a diverse range of companies conducting R&D," Veronica replied, her tone merry. "on all sorts of useful devices."

"If that's true, then you need to hook me up!"

"Hook us all up!"

Veronica laughed and the group's talking subsided; they were waiting for the elevator also.

"What should I wear to the party?" Veronica asked. "How formal is it?"

"Cocktail dresses are nice enough. Do you need to go shopping?"

"I don't need to. But this _is _the Citadel and the shopping's much better than on Noveria. I think I have enough energy to hit the stores."

"You sure?"

"Definitely. Besides, these past weeks have reminded me that I haven't started open auditions for the position of Official Booty Call yet and that I need proper attire for the interviewing process."

There were hoots and giggling from her statement. She was single? Myrtus perked up.

"Are these elevators just busted and nobody bothered to put up a sign?" somebody else asked.

"Oh, gosh, I hope not!" said another.

They waited for a few more seconds.

"...Okay. That's it. I'm done!" Veronica declared.

Myrtus could only swallow and let a flood of embarrassment take him as the group rounded the corner to where he was hiding.

"...Hello," he managed.

Veronica's group had three other human women and two asari. He recognized them from the software development department. He forestalled having their curious scrutiny on him for longer by opening the emergency exit door.

"Ladies," he bobbed in an approximation of a bow, sweeping an arm towards the door.

"Well, thank you very much, sir," Veronica replied, as some of the other women put their hands up to their mouths.

They started their way down with Myrtus following after them.

"Hm," Veronica sounded pensive.

Her hand was on the stair rail.

"Any of you ever slide down banisters?" Veronica asked.

"We are twenty floors up," replied Nevee, one of the asari. "That would be very unwise."

"Yeah. But we'd get down to the bottom faster, wouldn't we?"

"Sometimes, speed is not the best course of action," Nevee smiled.

"And sometimes, you just need to go at ramming speed!" Veronica hopped down to a landing, her hands upraised. "Come on, you and Juniea can pick us all up and Charge all the way down, right!?"

The second asari, Juniea, tittered. Myrtus was struck with image of himself and the humans being towed behind the asari like tails on a kite in midair and chuckled.

"I think I skipped class when they got to vanguard lessons at school," Juniea quipped.

"Darn! Hey, Mrytus! Do you have any biotic oomph you've been hiding from us?"

"No, can't say that I have," Myrtus replied. "Sorry."

"Aw, man!" Veronica huffed, though she was still smiling. "It's okay. You're cool anyways. I'll see you all at the party!"

She bounced ahead down the stairs before Myrtus could say another word. Her footsteps echoed and dimmed; she wasn't kidding about wanting to hurry. None of the others were in the same rush and Myrtus couldn't come up with an excuse to squeeze past them to catch up with her.

tbc


	7. Chapter 7

Well, this is starting to become a habit, Myrtus thought to himself. He was lingering outside of the venue, watching the sky cars come and go. He wasn't feeling up to actually mingling with the others who had arrived already. So he waited. She said she would be here.

A sky car descended and parked and that same group of software programmers spilled out of it, chattering and laughing brightly under the streetlights. Myrtus took a step forward, hopeful.

Veronica wasn't among them.

He suppressed a disappointed rasp, waving back at them after they waved to him and passed him.

"Myrtus! Hi!"

He fairly jumped out of his plates, turning.

"Oh! Sorry!" Veronica took a step back, just realizing that she'd startled him.

She hadn't thought; she only saw the particular curve of his fringe and the set of his shoulders from behind before running for him, delighted with actually seeing somebody she recognized.

"It's nothing," Myrtus replied. "Ah..."

Veronica was transformed. He was so used to her in practical office attire, her hair restrained in braids or buns, her face... bare, for Myrtus' lack of a more polite term. Tonight, her hair was a sinuous fall of black past her shoulders and she'd put colors on; opalescent violet and gray on her eyelids and a bold red on her mouth that made her teeth exceedingly white as she grinned up at him. Her grin slipped down in intensity to just an excited smile and Myrtus decided he liked her colors. As vivacious as she was, calling that much attention to her lips suited her. Already, he could tell he'd be hard pressed to pay any attention to anything besides the play of expressions on her face when she spoke, highlighted by her colors.

"You look lucky!" she exclaimed, reaching out to touch his sleeve.

Myrtus' suit was black with contrasting panels of two different shades red and yellow.

"I do?"

"Very lucky," she nodded, her earrings swinging and catching the light hypnotically. "Red and gold are good Chinese colors."

"You're looking very... Shiny."

Veronica laughed and twirled, bare arms upraised. The fabric of her dress was smooth and rippled as she moved, like mercury. There was a translucent overlay shot through with glass beads no larger than dewdrops that glinted under the lights at her décolletage and at the hem of her knee-length skirt. Her legs were distractingly bare and she was bouncing on the balls of her feet in heeled shoes, which also dazzled with a hard metallic shine at the toes and heel caps.

"Let's go!" she tugged on his sleeve once before going for the entrance, keeping that jauntiness in her gait.

Inside the reserved room there was an open bar and plates of hors d'oeuvres as Daro had predicted, laid out on a buffet. There were round tables around the perimeter of the room for people to take their plates to with no set seating and a dance floor in the middle. Veronica squealed and darted for the gaggle of software programmers. Myrtus watched her mingle for a few minutes before making his way to where Beloxia was sitting with a drink.

"Lead Engineer Beloxia," he bobbed his head.

"Myrtus Daedjian," she acknowledged him.

She took a sip of her drink, her general posture relaxed and content with successfully completing the project.

"Keep up the good work," she continued. "Aside from your usual attention to detail, I think I will make note, for the next review, of your extra effort to accommodate new team members."

Myrtus blinked uneasily.

"Improving the spirit of the team is greatly commendable," Beloxia's mandibles flared approvingly. "Especially given the challenges of Miss Wei's unorthodox work habits and greater than usual human tendency towards impertinence. Now go enjoy yourself."

Myrtus took his dismissal, bobbing his head again before stepping aside to let another recently arrived turian coworker pay respects to the hostess of the gathering.

"Myrtus, my man!"

Myrtus turned and his mandibles fluttered in consternation. Davidson's presence was not unexpected because that man breathed parties as part of his job description. But Rubellin and Tenax were standing beside him and that posed a problem.

"Do I want to know?" Myrtus asked as he walked to them.

"We were feeling adventurous and decided to party crash," Rubellin smirked. "Strengthen the company spirit across departments."

"You're here for the bar," Tenax dryly replied.

"And a very well stocked looking one it is, too," Rubellin nodded. "I'm going to have to rectify that."

"You are not supposed to be here," Myrtus hissed.

"That's rather the point of party crashing," Tenax's tone was annoyingly patient.

"Sheesh, you guys are so grim!" Davidson interjected. "What's up with that?"

Tenax, thankfully, was all about discretion, so he nudged Rubellin before he could make any ill-advised statements about a certain woman who had expanded their understanding of human music.

"I think Myrtus will feel less out of sorts after a drink," Tenax began steering them towards the bar.

"Sure, sure," Davidson agreed. "But hold that thought. Dude! I see tamales!"

He went for the buffet.

"Why are you doing this?" Myrtus rumbled under his breath at Tenax.

"We aren't going to embarrass you."

"We just want to actually see the one mystery lady. And drink all the booze. Can't forget that."

Tenax and Rubellin were earnestly keeping his gaze, so Myrtus relaxed a little.

"If it would make you more comfortable, we'll just have to sit at another table," Tenax suggested.

"So, which one is she?" Rubellin was surveying the room.

"With a group. She's in silver," Mrytus tipped his drink into his mouth.

"Shiny," Tenax said neutrally.

"... I don't know what I was expecting, really," Rubellin finally said. "Maybe not that short?"

"You make her sound like she's volus-sized," Tenax snorted.

"Her people are generally shorter in stature," Myrtus felt compelled to say.

"Well, you've had your drink. We'll leave you to it," Tenax clapped Myrtus on the shoulder.

Myrtus dithered some more by piling food on a plate before approaching Veronica. She excused herself from her friends before going to him.

"Having fun yet?"

"Ah..."

"Not yet, huh? Are they your friends? I've never seen them before," she looked towards Rubellin and Tenax.

"One could say that. It's very difficult to tell sometimes," Myrtus' tone was wry, which made her quirk one side of her mouth, fascinating him with the odd asymmetrical movement.

"Well, that looks pretty good," she looked at his plate. "Want to sit here at this table? Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"I don't mind!" Myrtus shook his head quickly, putting his plate down.

"Cool. I'll be quick!"

She left just as Davidson sat down at the very same table, oblivious to Myrtus's displeased mandible clench. Myrtus didn't even need to look up to know that Rubellin and Tenax were probably laughing at the bad luck of it all. Scratch that, he could definitely hear Rubellin's cackling just fine.

tbc


	8. Chapter 8

"These tamales are awesome. I need to ask Beloxia who catered," Davidson blissfully mumbled around a mouthful.

Myrtus sighed and made a vague comment about how his own food tasted after taking a few bites. (The caterers hadn't disappointed on the dextro side, either). Veronica came back, pulling out a chair next to Myrtus.

"Hello!" she greeted Davidson. "I didn't know PR was invited too!"

"Nah. But PR always brings the party."

Veronica smiled and Myrtus stuck another bite of food in his mouth to muffle an annoyed rumble.

And it went from there; Davidson and Veronica took off in conversation as they ate, swerving from her questions about what the PR department's endeavors were for the Citadel branch of their company to the different modes of entertaining depending on the species of guests expected, and touching on related side topics including cultural differences in regards to cuisine, table manners, the merits of different kinds of alcohol, and finally settling on the subject of music.

As put out as Myrtus was that Davidson effortlessly monopolized Veronica's attention, he found himself relaxing and enjoying the conversation because he was discovering the breadth and depth of Veronica's curiosity and interests. She was even asking him about turian cultural practices and it charmed him to have her asking him about the particulars of his home colony as a comparison to Palaveni traditions.

"Daro told me there will be dancing. You are going to dance, right? I've heard that you are a good dancer," Veronica looked at Davidson.

"Yeah, I am," Davidson nodded. "I just don't really like the modern stuff. Club stuff."

"Really, Davidson, I thought you'd be out there twitching to Expel 10 with the rest," Myrtus grinned.

"Dude. Twitching's about right. I like dances that are more involved. That you need to actually learn."

"So what kind of dancing do you do?" Veronica asked.

"Old fashioned stuff. I told you how I was in musicals in school. Mom also signed me up for dancesport."

That had no meaning for Myrtus. But Veronica perked up.

"Dancesport? Latin or International style?"

"Lindy Hop for life," Davidson put a hand to his heart.

Myrtus was completely unprepared for Veronica to nearly launch herself into the air.

"No! Really!? Nobody knows the Lindy!"

"I do."

"Competitively?"

"Through college."

"I know it too!" Veronica was so excited she was slapping the table with the palms of her hands. "We are going to dance! Be right back!"

"Well, there she goes," Davidson moved to stand, seeing Veronica going up to the DJ and activating her omnitool.

"Davidson?"

"Yeah?"

"...What does it look like, this dance?"

"Fast. It's pretty cool, actually," Davidson airily replied.

Fast? Fast sounded good, Myrtus thought. It's the slower partnered dances that humans did that were cause for concern. Talking was fine and as chatty as Davidson usually was, there weren't any overt efforts to flirt that Myrtus could discern. His eyes narrowed as he considered Davidson. There might be need for some _words_ with him if Davidson didn't have the sense to redirect his attentions elsewhere, however.

Davidson crossed the dance floor to Veronica and they conferred for a few minutes as the DJ brought Veronica's music on queue. Veronica made a few giddy hops in place. Everyone stopped talking, interested, as the music started. Snare drums to start off and Davidson took Veronica's hands and stepped out.

Fast wasn't half of it. They were whirling and leaping across the floor, Veronica's skirt billowing, the both of them kicking their feet perilously high while Davidson was nearly flinging Veronica around, the both of them grinning as they kept their grips, joyfully fighting centrifugal forces. The humans in the crowd cheered and laughed, standing up and clapping in time with the beat of the song, whooping as Davidson spun Veronica.

The sheer energy she hinted at back at the emergency exit stairs was in full display as she kept the momentum up with Davidson, fairly taking Myrtus' breath as he watched.

When the song ended, Davidson capped it off by doing the splits and that brought the crowd down. As they walked off the floor they were surrounded by compliments and questions. Davidson shook Veronica's hand and they parted, Davidson to the DJ to request some more old fashioned songs and Veronica returning to the table. She sat down, breathing hard, elated.

"That was amazing," Myrtus said. "You were amazing."

Veronica giggled, dabbing at her forehead with a napkin.

"That was so much fun!"

Davidson convinced the DJ to start up again, this time with motown classics and he was showing the two asari software programmers the two-step, while the rest of the humans who were inspired by the earlier dance filled the floor.

"Definitely more involved than the modern stuff, as Davidson said," Myrtus nodded.

Veronica took a drink and motioned towards the floor.

"Want to dance?"

He hesitated.

"Can't do the two-step?" she tilted her head.

"I can figure it out. I'm an engineer," Myrtus said as he stood up. "I figure all sorts of things out."

Veronica stood up also and without a thought, took Myrtus' hand. His mandibles fluttered, pleased. So they danced. It truly was no more than two separate steps, forward, backward, rotating in place on the floor, getting to hold her hands in public.

"You do learn quickly," Veronica nodded her head with the beat, letting go to do an impromptu twirl before taking his hands again.

The song changed and the humans whooped again as Davidson started to make choreographed moves. Veronica clapped, laughing.

"I think I know this song," Myrtus tilted his head.

"I think everybody does by now!"

"Billie Jean!" Myrtus crowed. "I know this one!"

Veronica's eyes widened as he went for the middle of the floor where Davidson was, taking a spot alongside him and stepping into the choreography.

"Oh, gosh! Oh, gosh he's doing it!" squealed Zoe, one of the software programmers.

"Go, Myrtus!" Veronica yelled. "Whoo!"

The sight of him successfully pulling off a moonwalk had the human women emitting a noise high enough in pitch to make more than a few bystanders wince.

When they finished, Davidson offered both of his hands up for a high five and Myrtus returned it, grinning.

"You're totally, totally awesome!" Veronica exclaimed when he went back to her. "How did you even know how to do that!?"

"Class project during one of my xenocultural studies classes when I was in university. Had to memorize one example of performance art. Just about everybody else was memorizing poems," Myrtus shrugged. "I didn't want to stand up and recite."

"Did you get a good grade?"

"Now what do you think?" Myrtus grinned. "I got top marks, of course! It's technically difficult!"

Veronica was about to say something when a resounding crash made her jump.

"Oh!"

Nearly all of the turians' heads perked and they began to form a circle away from the dance floor around where one of the turian software programmers had flipped a table and was now charging at a laughing Rubellin. Tenax deftly snatched his drink up just as the table went, stepping back to the perimeter, to watch.

"What's going on?" Veronica winced at the hard smack of plates making impact.

Rubellin was still laughing as he blocked the opening kick and began returning kicks and punches of his own.

"The brawling portion of tonight's entertainment," Myrtus looked unsure on how he should respond.

"Will they be okay?"

A harsh shriek and there was the splintering sound of a chair coming apart. Over somebody's head.

"Oh, yes," Myrtus nodded.

"You INCOMPETANTS!" roared Beloxia. "Now I can't get the deposit back on this room! I told everybody not to destroy the furniture!"

"Well, now, somebody might not be okay," Myrtus amended.

Veronica's eyebrows raised as Beloxia herself entered the fray, fists swinging, to the cheers of the bystander turians. She surveyed the rest of the room. The other Noveria transfers stopped dancing, unsure of what to make of the turn of events. The Citadel regulars were still dancing or talking, ignoring the fracas as a normal occurrence.

"Myrtus? Do you mind if... we leave now? Or do you want to stay and join in?" Veronica finally asked him.

"... You want me to leave with you?"

Veronica took a step closer and nodded, reaching out to smooth her hand over his forearm. Any inclination on Myrtus' part to make a joke of wanting one round of fisticuffs or else it wasn't a real party experience died in his mouth.

"Okay," Myrtus managed to say. "Okay."

tbc


	9. Chapter 9

She'd arrived in a taxi, so he drove her to her apartment. They didn't say anything on the way; she was watching the scenery pass through the window and he concentrating on merging into the correct lanes to get to her ward.

He felt like he was floating outside of himself, that it was somebody else's hand she took, walking to the elevators from the parking structure, that it was somebody else that the elevator doors closed behind, that it was somebody else following her lead as she went down the hallway, stopping at her door.

She slid her keycard, opened the door and looked up at him.

"Will you come in?"

"Yeah."

He followed her in, the door sliding closed behind him. She was taking off her shoes by the door, before turning towards him.

"I really want to kiss you," she lifted her chin. "Is that okay?"

"Ah..."

"I have to ask because- because you haven't dated any other human before," Veronica blurted. "I asked around about you."

"You asked?"

Veronica tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah. I did."

Myrtus reached out for her, unable to stop a pleased croon at hearing that she'd been specifically interested back.

"That may be true, but here I am. Show me. I'll figure it out."

"Okay," she made a small giggle, at ease once again. "Then you'll have to get down here."

She lightly tugged on the front of his cowl.

"Just open up a little, let me in," her other hand made a light touch on a mandible.

He froze in place, not at all sure what else to do, as she moved closer. She started off with a puckered touch to his chin, before working her way up, at the edges of his lip plates, before pressing on. He startled when her tongue found his, a warm, wet sensation. She sighed through her nose, pulling him closer, another touch and slide of her tongue before she withdrew.

"Too strange?" she finally asked, looking at him through her lashes.

"... No. Not too strange. Are we going to do that some more?"

She licked her lips once.

"Yeah. Let's make out."

They made their way to her couch, with her coaxing him into reclining in a position comfortable for him before she joined him, making him shudder with the feeling of her body pressing against his. He couldn't get his gloves off fast enough, to finally feel her skin, marveling at the sheer smoothness of it on her arms. She was taking her earrings off and setting them aside, before leaning in again to resume kissing him.

Myrtus _was _a quick study. He found that it was more satisfactory all around when he followed her tongue into her mouth, discovering that the feelings he got were intensified as they pressed and slid together, unworried about the sharpness of his teeth, with shocks of pleasure when she occasionally sucked on his tongue.

She took to exploring, finding that she could make him sigh and rattle into a purr by licking and kissing at his neck. His ungloved hands were busy, sliding over the fabric of her dress, lingering at her waist before moving downwards. She pulled the skirt of her dress up, and he was passing his palms over her bare hips and thighs, smoothing with the pads of his fingers before cautiously cupping her buttocks in his palms, giving her a little squeeze, which made her giggle again.

"Do that some more. That's good," she murmured.

He did and they kissed some more, until she rose up suddenly.

"We are both way overdressed," she declared.

He swallowed as she reached back and unzipped her dress, getting up to step out of it, letting it drop to the floor.

"Come on," she pulled on one hand. "Let's move this to bed."

She pulled the blankets away as he worked on undressing. Unlike her, he simply didn't have need for underwear and he stood nude in her bedroom after he finished taking off his suit. She sat on the edge of her bed, looking at him.

"I've never been with a turian before, so we're pretty even," she said. "I'm learning just like you."

Myrtus' mandibles worked, taking that fact in.

"Veronica, how far... do you want to go?" he finally asked.

She shrugged.

"However far we can, I think. I do know that the party doesn't get started until you're hanging out, so why don't you come here and we work on that?"

She made room for him and they made a pile of pillows for him to rest on. She was feeling the texture of his pectoral plates, running her hand over his keel.

"Your shape is so cool," she murmured.

"... Thanks."

She laughed then, putting her head down on his shoulder.

"Okay, okay," she huffed. "Let's do this."

Her hand made its way downward, petting over his abdominal plates before getting to the seam between his legs.

"A little harder, do that-"

He pulled her close and she was kissing him again as his hips arched, a rolling undulation and he was out, unfurling under her fingers.

"Wow, you're slick," she broke their kiss to look down. "That's convenient."

She closed her hand on him and he trembled as she took an experimental stroke. Soft, soft, how was he going to last, it's just her hand-

She moved away, settling between his legs, watching his reactions as she stroked him. She was also looking at it in her hands, looking at how her fingers slid over the ridges. She put a finger to her mouth, licking the fluid off.

"...Hey..." she smiled.

"What?"

"You're actually sweet! Literally! Awesome!"

"Does that mean you're going to-" Myrtus cleared his throat. "Ah..."

"Give you head?" Veronica nodded.

He was completely unprepared to come when he did. How could he? It was so new, and the hot holding slide of her lips and tongue made him go to pieces before he was ready. He sat up, mortified, as she coughed.

"Sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Warn me next time, okay?"

"I will!" he nodded quickly, still embarrassed.

Veronica wiped at her mouth, watching as he retracted.

"I really want to kiss you. Down there. That okay?" she grinned at him.

Myrtus chuckled with relief.

"You need to wait a bit- Aaaah-"

His groin plates weren't completely closed and she was there, lips sliding and finding purchase, tilting her head to actually suck on an inner edge, making him writhe, making him spread his legs. It was delicious, delicious torment and his cock woke back up in a hurry. He fought to keep his eyes open, to see how she was dipping her tongue slow over the head, long, lingering licks all around the shaft, before starting that maddening slide of her lips, taking him in. It was too much, he couldn't, so he closed his eyes and panted, his hands clutching at his cowl because it wouldn't do to scratch up her sheets.

"Ver-Ver-" he stuttered out breathlessly. "Veronica-I-can't-"

The corners of her eyes crinkled into a smile and she kept on going, catching him as he surged forward, this time swallowing it down neatly.

She leaned her cheek on one of his thighs, smiling as he took time to regain composure.

"Having fun yet?" Veronica wagged her eyebrows.

Myrtus just made a gasping laugh.

tbc


	10. Chapter 10

"I have a question," she was running her thumb on his seam again.

"Yes?"

"What's... in there? Just your penis?"

"... Pretty much. I mean, there's the testicles, they're against the back... wall... Why?"

Veronica pursed her lips, considering her next words.

"Do you let... anybody touch you, inside?"

Myrtus blinked. That had never occurred to him.

"I haven't. It isn't done. Technical difficulties," he wagged his clawed fingers for emphasis.

"Makes sense. So you wouldn't want me to go there, right?"

"Ah... I don't know? I can see you wouldn't hurt me with your fingers," he shrugged. "I don't even know what to expect."

"Want to try? I'm just curious now and if it's no good I can suck you off again. How about it?"

"... I sincerely hope that is not a common bargaining tool for humans," Myrtus muttered. "Or else the Hierarchy is doomed."

"Are you seriously sidetracking to politics?" Veronica quirked an eyebrow.

"... Sorry. Sorry. Um. Yeah?"

The wonder of it was that he did trust Veronica to not hurt him. She'd made him feel so good already, it was entirely too easy to agree, to indulge her curiosity. And he was curious himself.

He held his breath as her thumb pressed down firmly, coaxingly on his seam. She leaned forward again and began licking at it, backing off as the plates parted. He made a soft, unsure sound, as she began sliding her index finger in.

It was odd. The friction of it, the fact that he was a little tense kept the plates semi-closed. He shifted when he felt her finger against his penis. It felt good, but Veronica wasn't interested in the obvious. She was slowly swirling that finger, feeling out his inner contours.

"... Are these your balls?"

"Yeah. I don't think about them much."

She cautiously ran her finger over one and then the other, making Myrtus squirm.

"Good?"

"...Sure. Don't press too hard..."

She moved the tip of her finger to the stretch of skin just below the swell of them and she turned her hand so that her palm was facing up, and began a circular rubbing. She was watching him, watching how his hips were starting to move again, how his eyes dropped shut and his mandibles slacked, before gradually increasing the speed of her stroking, testing his reaction. It was not at all the outburst when she sucked on him. He looked almost bewildered and shy about showing that he was starting to enjoy it.

It became clear enough when a new erection pushed its way out and they found that though it was a tighter fit between his plates, he could still accommodate her finger. Veronica began stroking him in tandem and he was panting again, arching his hips up, straining wordlessly.

"Are you holding back on me, mister?" Veronica murmured teasingly after no result from prolonged touching.

Myrtus made a hiccuping noise.

"...Don't know-"

"I have an idea."

Now, this had to be entirely because she had both her hands occupied with his intimate places, because he nodded rapidly.

"Okay, whatever it is, do it."

She withdrew her finger and let go, making him shiver from the loss, and clambered over him to her nightstand, sliding the bottom drawer open.

"Let me guess," Myrtus cleared his throat. "You have something with a ripcord in there."

"Let's start you out on the beginner model first, hmm?"

The vibrator she took out was slim, only a little thicker than her finger, and with a smooth, curving, abstract aesthetic that hearkened to asari artistic sensibilities. She went back to her spot between his legs and gave him one lingering stroke, collecting the fluid there and coating the vibrator with it. He manages to hold still for the first push of her finger and then the second push of the vibrator, making him feel oddly full. She guides it into position and withdraws her finger. The contours of the thing were such that he can feel it pressing against his balls and the very base of his shaft in addition to that spot that she'd been rubbing.

She met his gaze. And switched it on.

He simply came off the bed at that, his body snapping like a bow, making a full-throated howl. He didn't hear Veronica's surprised laugh as she fought to keep her grip on the thing as he twisted and juddered uncontrollably, crying out again and again.

It's inside, it's inside, it's INSIDE- some stupidly obvious part of his mind yammered as every move that he made had it sliding, rubbing up against some new patch of untested nerves, lighting him up from the inside out. Veronica rose on her knees, bearing down on him, giving him more, ratcheting up the intensity of the vibrator, forcing out ecstatic reverb from both sets of vocal cords. He came once more, splattering all the way into his cowl.

He didn't feel her carefully taking the vibrator out as he lay there, breathing hard, eyes closed.

"Veronica," he whispered. "Veronica..."

He just needed a minute. Just one more minute...

tbc


	11. Chapter 11

Myrtus was fairly lucky in that immediately after a customary celebration Beloxia was understandably lenient about people not even showing up the next morning. That he was present at all was a mark in his favor. He managed to dither some more by sorting the datapads on his desk and filing them. Certainly, it was tedious and not at all requiring fine attention, which he was sorely lacking. He consciously avoided remembering what he knew was on the vid. On his omnitool.

He anxiously went over what happened when he woke up that morning instead.

Veronica had touched him on the shoulder to wake him. She'd asked in a soft early morning murmur if he was hungry. He'd moved to sit up and she went to the kitchen. She came back with a hot breakfast on a tray, which she placed on her nightstand for him. She was drinking something hot for herself; he could see steam.

They hadn't said anything; he was eating and glad of it. It was prepackaged stuff, the kind you got at corner shops that were open all hours. But she'd taken it out, arranged it on plates and heated the meats up.

It was... so easy, he thought wistfully. She took breakfast in bed with him, with a blanket pulled over her knees. She'd gotten a white, goopy looking porridge-thing in a bowl and was dipping pieces of a misshapen brown pastry into it before taking bites. Her movements were easy, slow, and she'd asked if his breakfast was alright. It was.

She went to pour another cup of... tea, he thought it was. It wasn't as opaque and didn't have the aroma of coffee.

He noticed then that his clothes were folded and stacked on a chair next to the bed. He hadn't thought anything of it as he dressed and took the tray to the kitchen for her. He hadn't thought on how his shoes were arranged with all the rest of her shoes by the door.

How long had she been awake before him?

She'd woken him up early. Early enough so that he could get home and shower and change into work clothes, making it to work at the normal hour. He'd actually been really working and then went to get lunch. Tenax and Rubellin immediately noted his subtly relaxed posture and pounced, eager for the details. He was so unwary and... happy that he'd told them all. And of course they had to notice what he _didn't _do.

And now, he was realizing that she had been subtly thoughtful on her part and it humbled him how she'd thought to make him at ease.

Myrtus decided to just end the day a little early, taking the elevator to her floor of the offices, waiting for her in the lobby. When her shift ended and she sees him, her smile graces her face automatically, if less brightly. She's cautious, now. It pains him to see it change like that.

"Hello."

"Hi."

"Where would you like to go?"

"Can we just walk?" Veronica asked. "Have you eaten yet?"

"I can do with something to eat," Myrtus nods.

They set out, side by side.

"Are you mad that I made a vid without telling you first?" Veronica finally asks.

"... I'm not. I'm surprised. Unless you plan to distribute it on the extranet without giving me royalties. Then I should inform you that I would be very, very upset."

And there it is, Veronica laughs and Myrtus' mandibles make a happy wriggle.

They almost pass a restaurant, but Veronica stops in her tracks, scanning the signage.

"What do you think about this place? Want to try it?"

"Well, I've been experiencing all sorts of new things this week. Sure."

So they walked into a Chinese restaurant.

There was something definitely novel about the dishes once they arrived.

"I thought humans have qualms about whole-bodied meat?" Myrtus was confused.

Veronica's plate had an entire, recognizable, fish on it. It was covered in a blanket of garnish, but there it was. A whole fish, eyeball up, mouth gaping.

"Chinese do not. We're sort of famous for it, actually," Veronica nonchalantly gouged out the eyeball and popped it into her mouth. "Almost no taboos over species, no taboos about organ meats, or extremities. A very flexible food culture."

Myrtus looked at his dish and decided that must explain it, because he wouldn't have expected it to look so... familiar. He'd chosen scylla, a sea-dwelling Palaveni arthropod with segmented bodies weighing three to four pounds and prized for the meat in their legs, which were long and as thick around as a turian finger. Many other alien cuisine interpretations of the creature had its meat removed from the exoskeleton and cooked that way. Here, not only were the exoskeletons left on, they didn't even remove the feelers. Or the eye stalks. The legs were conveniently detached from the bodies, however.

He picked one up and happily cracked the shell with a quick snap of his jaws, before prying it apart and scraping the meat off with his upper lip plates. Just the way it was meant to be eaten. He liked the way it was prepared; fried in the shells and garnished with thinly sliced spicy Quarian tubers.

They ate, until Myrtus felt sure enough to broach the question about what Veronica had wanted to explain to him.

"I don't always make vids. Last night, I wanted to, to remember. So when you fell asleep, I replayed it. I touched myself. It was good. You didn't need to apologize," her voice was soft, covered by the din of the restaurant.

"It's not the same," Myrtus muttered.

"True," Veronica nodded. "It isn't. I'm not worried, because that wasn't going to be the only time."

Myrtus didn't have anything to say about that; that he hadn't disappointed her into dropping him on a permanent basis gave him the most giddy feeling.

"I have another question."

"What?"

"Candyman?"

"Oh," Veronica giggled. "That. It's because you're really sweet."

"...Ah. Literally."

Veronica reached out to take his hand.

"Not just literally. You really are sweet. I think so, you know."

Oh. Myrtus blinked.

"So... What are your plans for this evening?" Veronica took a sip of tea.

"I hadn't thought that far ahead, actually," Myrtus shifted in his seat. "Would you want to go back to my place?"

Veronica nodded.

tbc


	12. Chapter 12

They kissed on his couch. It was good, better without the nervousness.

"I have a thought."

"... Uh oh. Or, yaaaay? I'm not sure with you yet," Myrtus' tone was sly.

Veronic just grinned.

"Just wondering. You knew about blow jobs. How does that happen?"

"Gossip."

"Gossip and... porn," Veronica prodded his keel with emphasis.

"And porn."

"You've watched human porn."

"Ah. No. I haven't watched human porn on purpose, actually."

He could just about see the theories that were zipping through her head.

"Okay. So what kind of porn blowjobs have you seen? And can I watch it too?"

"Well..."

"It's turian cultural questions time, Myrtus. And it's about porn. That's the best kind of questions!"

"Okay," Myrtus moved to activate his omnitool and went to a site, while Veronica shifted so that she could see.

"Wow," Veronica's eyebrows quirked as the extranet site loaded. "You're going to have to explain what I'm looking at already."

"You're going to have to ask actual questions."

She reached out to scroll down, quickly scanning the teaser images.

"Why are all of their heads covered? That's a C-Sec flack helmet!"

"Keeps things anonymous."

He didn't have to explain to her as famous as Shepard and Vakarian were as a couple, being with a human wasn't considered quite aboveboard among turians at large. Especially those who haven't even been to the Citadel. That was why every single one of the turians on the site were shown unclothed except for their obscured faces.

"... Oh, okay. Yeah, they're really working the transgressive angle in the copy," Veronica was reading the clip descriptions. "Fresh Third Tier. What's that mean?"

"The guy's young and on first duty tour out of boot camp."

"Barely legal, you mean. Total blowjob virgin."

"Yeah."

"This one, then. If the site's actually honest about the virginity-ness of the people," Veronica clicked on that particular vid.

"It's turian porn, Veronica. We are a very scrupulously honest species," Myrtus replied loftily. "Especially about porn."

Veronica giggled again and the vid began.

"... Why are they tying him up? Is bondage a normal thing?" she whispered.

"No. Total blowjob virgin. Nobody wants any accidents."

The turian in the vid was guided to a chair. There, his spurs were secured to the chair legs, keeping his knees apart and his wrists were secured to the arms of the chair. He was nervous; his claws were clenched on the armrests. Veronica suppressed a snicker at the sight of the human woman who entered the room. She was fully clothed and not at all porn-y in an expected way. She looked downright irreproachably respectable. There weren't any preliminaries, no questions asked, no lines said. She walked forward, the camera changed angles, and she knelt, putting her hands on that turian's waist and firmly kneading.

His voice was different, Veronica distantly noted, young sounding from the first moans. He emerged and the first touches on it caused him to make rasping gasps. The first licks had him trembling and when she put her mouth on him, it took no more than a few good bobs of her head before he came.

"Oh, that's familiar," Veronica murmured.

Myrtus chuckled ruefully.

The vid continued and that woman was toying with him, gradually pulling back, giving but not quite enough, until he was a straining arc off of the chair, mindlessly humping the air, begging, all dignity lost. She played with him, fleeting little swirling licks on the head, working her thumbs on his waist as he cursed and pleaded for more. When she finally sucked him all down, he thrashed his head and came again, legs and arms straining against the restraints. He collapsed back into the chair, breathing hard. The woman smiled, wiping at her mouth with her hand, before beginning again.

"So it's all blowjobs, all the time?" Veronica finally said.

Myrtus closed the vid.

"Yes. At least, for this site. Why?"

"Oh, I don't know... Just wondering about... reciprocation."

Myrtus coughed, flushing again at the neck.

"Don't take this the wrong way. But that wasn't something I was curious about before knowing you."

"That's fair," Veronica smiled and nodded. "The interspecies porn I have saved was because it was funny."

Myrtus' mandibles worked.

"Funny... how?" he finally asked.

tbc


	13. Chapter 13

Veronica activated her omnitool.

"It was the situation, mostly. You'll see."

The scene opened inside an empty elevator. Just your everyday elevator, with the ubiquitous elevator music.

"This is irony, right? Performance art? Because there's nothing sexy going on," Myrtus quipped.

Veronica shushed him, suppressing a laugh.

The doors opened. A turian in perfectly normal work attire entered. He pushed a button. The doors shut. The elevator was on the move again.

"Are you sure this is porn?" Myrtus grumbled.

"It is! Why are you being impatient?"

"Sorry. Sorry, I'm used to maybe ten seconds of set up and then fucking happens. This is like surveillance footage."

"... And then fucking happens," Veronica repeated, snickering. "Great turn of phrase."

Another stop on another floor. Two entered, a human woman and another turian. The doors closed, and once again the elevator moved on. No one said a word or made a gesture. One more time, the doors opened and yet one more turian stepped into the elevator. The doors closed and that bland and yet obnoxious elevator music played on.

Myrtus finally noticed the one detail that indicated in any way, shape or form so far that this was actual porn. None of the turians were wearing gloves.

The elevator made a harsh beep and the passengers looked up. The elevator was stuck. The human woman made a sad, impatient sound. A VI's voice informed them that repairs to the automated system would not be completed for 1 hour and 53 minutes.

"Spirits, this is asinine," Myrtus couldn't stop himself.

"But isn't the attention to detail impressing you at all?" Veronica asked innocently. Too innocently.

"... Please don't use my perfectionism against me."

"So," one of the turians said. "What are we going to do to pass the time?"

"I can think of something," the woman replied, strangely pert.

"Why is there BAD TALKING?" Myrtus cried out, after more stilted dialog.

Veronica just laughed at that, making the omnitool projection shake uncontrollably. Myrtus' incredulous expression made the hilarity of it even worse and she had to pause the vid.

"It's a traditional human porn conceit. Setting up the situation. Establishing place and context," she managed to make a straight face. "Horribly cruddy lines."

"... You are all so weird."

"Not all porn is like this. But like I said, I saved this because it's funny."

"More like unbelievably embarrassing to witness."

Veronica kissed him, cuddled against his side once more and resumed the vid.

One of the turians closed in on the woman, brazenly putting his hands on her waist. She smiled, putting her hands over his, guiding them to her breasts instead, licking her lips. That was all the signal they needed, because the other two bracketed her on either side. One pulled her dress zipper down, the other pulled her hem up and they peeled her out of her clothes. She wriggled and gasped as they all touched her, and Myrtus knew what that was like at least, how nice simply feeling skin that smooth was. Her buttocks were fondled, her waist was traced and massaged, the strange indentation of her navel was explored, her shoulders and arms petted. She reached back, undoing her bra.

She sighed and made soft, high pitched noises of appreciation as one hand or another cupped and slid on her breasts, fingers flicking or pinching at the nipples. Her posture became lax; she was leaning against one of the turians, who was laving at her neck. She flushed and became noticeably louder when the other two knelt and began licking at her nipples, arching into them.

"Are you... sensitive like that? There?"

"Mmmhmmm," Veronica nodded. "You're going to find out how much, later. Later."

The camera floated lower. They slipped her panties down and supported her so that one leg was lifted, leaving her exposed. Their hands moved downwards, slowly, carefully, feeling out the softness and gathering moistness there. The woman started to pant, actually rolling her hips encouragingly. They built on her tension and she came, trembling and breathless.

Two of them lifted her up, cradling her into place and the third entered her, slow and easy, and the camera lingered on slick enveloping of it. She nearly crooned, as best as Myrtus could describe it, biting her bottom lip in appreciation as her current partner increased his pace. One of the ones holding her up casually reached out, rubbing the pad of a finger at her clitoris, making her arch, making her yell. Her partner peaked, crying out. She was put back down on her feet then, but not before the camera caught sight of his spill in her, dripping out of her. She turned away from the camera and bent over, presenting herself, making a come hither wiggle at one of the turians who had been holding her up. As he pulled her closer, rubbing his cock against her, she reached out to the third, bracing a hand on his jutting hip to steady herself as she took his hardness into her mouth. She made a muffled groan as her second partner slid home.

"Veronica?"

"Hmm?"

"Please don't make me sit through the whole thing," Myrtus made a desperate lick at Veronica's neck. "Can we move things along? Please?"

"Did you just honk my boob?"

"..."

"You just honked my boob. Myrtus, you're going to have to learn better technique than that. I'm a lady."

"Sorry!"

Mytrus wasn't really understanding how Veronica could be laughing instead of disappointed by his inept (especially compared to the porn) groping. He'll take hilarity over disappointment, though.

"Okay. Okay, I'm done," Veronica pressed a hand to her mouth. "Let's- Eeep!"

Myrtus had scooped her up in his arms and was very determinedly striding towards his bedroom.

tbc


	14. Chapter 14

"Show me," Myrtus crooned into her ear. "Show me."

Veronica sighed, kissing at his neck before unzipping and getting out of her dress, while he took his gloves off. She turned, letting him figure out her bra and he got it undone. He stepped close behind her, looking over her shoulder, tentatively smoothing his palms over her bare back a few times before sliding them around to cup her breasts. She put her hands over his, giving him a massaging motion to mimic.

She lets go after he learns it, simply holding on to his upper arms, absorbed in the sensations. He drops his hands lower a little, to see what he could of her nipples. They contrasted more than he expected compared to the woman in the vid; brown, like candy, like chocolate. He presses the pads of his fingers lightly on them, tracing out circles and her breath catches. Every single sound she makes from each touch is a good sound and he purrs, nuzzling her neck.

They make their way to his bed and finally he can get a taste of them.

They are sweet and the sweetness comes from that rising color in her cheeks, those little sounds that catch in her throat, the arch of her back. And the wonder of it is there's no impatience on her part as he lingers, taking her in his hands again, taking delight in the sensitivity of her bare skin. The mobile pliancy of her breasts are in of themselves a bit disconcerting, but when the results are as lovely as this, he can't bring himself to care.

"Myrtus," Veronica whispers. "Wait, wait."

She moves to sit up.

"Yes?"

"It's feeling a little rough already," Veronica covers her breasts for a moment with her hands before letting go. "Yeah, it's starting."

Myrtus makes a wordless disappointed sound, starting to move away.

"I don't want to stop. Do you have anything? Anything at all? Moisturizer?" she asks.

Myrtus comes up blank. But he can see already the reddening of her skin, just from his palms. How did they manage in that porn? He then remembers that the woman was unnaturally shiny under the lights. She was all pre-oiled. Oil.

"I. Um. Have oil. For... cooking."

"It's be a mess on the sheets," Veronica's voice was hopeful, however.

"Worth it," Myrtus shrugs.

"Okay," Veronica smiles. "Let's try it."

He hurries back with the bottle. She squirms at the first pour.

"Cold!" she giggles.

"Sorry," he moves quickly to spread it and warm it up.

"Okay, that's good. Nice," Veronica closes her eyes. "Like a massage."

He's poured too much on her from his concern. The oil pools just under her breasts and he spreads it further, finding how soft her belly is, passing his thumb over her navel, running his hands along her waist, kneading there and noting for himself that she's simply not that responsive there at all compared to what he's used to.

She opens her eyes to watch him as she lifts her hips so that he can draw her panties down. His mandibles twitch and she muffles another giggle.

"What's this for?" he reaches out to run his finger over the little bit of hair there.

"Insulation?" Veronica shrugs.

He smears oil over her hips and over her thighs, down to her knees. He explores her lower legs, feeling the absence of spurs, circling the tips of his fingers over the bones of her ankles, liking the contours. Veronica shifts a little as he picks up her feet, examining the minute little nails on each of her toes. She parts her legs a little and he can see her own moisture there, between her legs.

"Turn over," he says quickly, to stall.

He moves up, pouring more oil on her back and she goes limp under his hands as he works there. He makes inevitable way back downwards, his palms full with her buttocks. He presses and squeezes them for a while before separating them, and she arches very prettily up towards him.

With all care he spreads oil on her there, letting the excess drip down her thighs. Just a single finger, with slow circular rubbing on one blushing outer lip and the other, while she spread her legs wider. Her scent is so near, the lush newness of her is such that he simply leans in, extending his tongue to press it fully against her.

"Oh," she breathes.

He feels a little spasm from her on his tongue and it's lovely, so he starts licking, shallow at first, occasionally passing over her clitoris. She's so soft all over that when he closes his eyes he can scarcely tell the rest of her body from her sex from the lack of plating and it's perverse, it's obscene, the sudden idea that all of her was made for pleasure. She's crying out now, and she's even fondling her own breasts as he continues to taste her. She's slick on his tongue and he wants to know more, so he starts pressing forward, while lightly petting her sweet spot with his finger. She shudders and there's another clench on his tongue before she relaxes and he's in.

"That's deep," Veronica gasps. "Oh, your tongue-"

He strokes her inside, his tongue marvelously giving and it makes her curl, makes her shake, and jump. He moves with her, learning how to ply more noise from her, cajoling, relentless, until she comes and he drinks it down.

Veronica lowers herself all the way on his bed and she doesn't move and he can see her smiling, her head turned to the side on the pillow. Myrtus undresses quickly and he moves over her, nuzzling and licking from the small of her back up her spine to her shoulder, dragging his upper lip plates lightly there. He's emerged from his plates and he thrums in his chest at the sensation from simply nestling it between her buttocks, settling some of his weight on her, covering her with his body.

She has to glance to the side to see him and his mandibles are flared a little into a grin. She makes a questioning look.

"I just gave you a blow job," he sounds terribly happy.

"That's not what it's called when you do that to a woman," Veronica giggles.

"Don't care. It's all mouth sex."

"Mouth sex," Veronica giggles again.

"Best massage ever, or best massage ever?" Myrtus licks at the back of her neck.

"Hmm. Best masseur on the Citadel," Veronica sighs. "One problem though."

Myrtus pauses.

"Ah?"

"I seem to have lost my credit chit. Is there any other way at all that I can pay you?"

Myrtus blinks. She blinks back, her smile coy.

"Why, Miss Wei," he leans in close to her ear. "How very careless of you."

Veronica shivers from the feeling that thrum from his chest.

"I know. I'll do anything, won't you consider it?"

"Will you? I don't know... what's worth my while?"

Veronica's eyes have closed and she's biting her bottom lip from that drop in timbre.

"I suppose... I suppose this," he rocks once against her. "will have to do. I suppose I'll just have to take that tasty little hot quim of yours, human. Does that sound fair?"

She makes a wordless sound, spreading her legs as he shifts, reaching down between them and running the pad of his thumb just between her lips there, making easy way for his cock.

"Enunciate, Miss Wei. Does that," he's just at her entrance, not even starting to press. "sound fair?"

"Yes!"

He keeps steady, making it a slow plunge into that holding heat and he feels the hitch of her breath on a mandible as he sinks all the way. He swallows, and reaches for her hands, covering them and she turns her palms up, twining her fingers through his.

"Veronica..."

He's moving then, slow to savor, until the way she's rocking her hips back to match him breaks his will and he's moving free then, pushing that pace and she's with him, urging him on. Just. Like. That. Myrtus closes his eyes and lets himself go.

He moves aside, so as not to stifle her, laying on his side. She turns to face him, smiling before kissing him. It's slow and casual at first, satiated with an edge of sleepiness, with him putting one arm around her, pulling her close, until she puts her hand on his waist and she starts kneading him there with unmistakable intent.

"Come on, Candyman. One more round," Veronica runs her tongue against a mandible.

"Yes, yes..."

She gets that bottle and smears more oil on herself and even on him, from his groin plates to the abdominal plates. He sits up, leaning back on both of his hands while she straddles him, undulating her hips as she sinks down on him. She starts to grind, looking for that friction on her sweet spot missing from the last time and finds it, exulting in it. Myrtus moans, gripping at his sheets, bucking up for her, striving for her.

Veronica flexes her thighs and rides it out, keeping steady with both hands braced on his cowl, gritting her teeth- Yes- More-

"Come on-" Myrtus urges. "So good...!"

So good, so good, all of it, the slick-slide-shock of it-

Myrtus is drunk from it, his mandibles slack, panting, staving off that surge, wanting to see her face-

Veronica arched, a spasm punching through her core, sounding out one last time. Myrtus catches her into his arms, squeezing tight as he falls helplessly after her.

tbc


	15. Chapter 15

It was a lucky thing that the next day was the start of a weekend. They woke late and starting from the moment Myrtus carried Veronica to his shower, soaping up her breasts under the stream of water, they could not be moved to leave.

They ordered in food and cuddled on his couch, watching classic action movies from Veronica's home culture. He'd asked for a few because she'd mentioned the genre at the party. He was becoming fascinated by the version of history embodied in the plots and stories; the periods of warring, the imperial court intrigues, the fanciful acrobatics and deadly grace of the martial arts as depicted with deft stuntwork, the sheer variety of weaponry.

She'd asked to watch whatever Myrtus considered the equivalent in turian movies. She didn't complain about or question the more declamatory style that still permeated Palaveni productions, finding just as much to appreciate about the themes of duty, of thwarted romances, of the consequences of overarching ambitions, the glorification of martial spirit.

It was so easy to talk to her, to discover how they interpreted the same things they were watching differently and what it all meant. They whiled away hours that way and did not even notice. Myrtus had never known such happiness with another as this. He looked at her, leaning against his side, how she was given to outbursts of enthusiasm, of nimble mind and fingers, and could not imagine any other in her place.

"Veronica."

"Yeah?"

"I. Ah... Overhead. You were looking for someone to fill the position of Official Booty Call."

He reached out, taking her hand in his.

"What do you think of me?"

"I like you," she replied.

Myrtus' mandibles twitched. That wasn't precise enough, which made a trickle of unease go down his spine.

"... I really, really like you. Very much. You're way past the Official Booty Call position, if you must know," she continued.

Veronica was looking at him steadily.

"I want... I want more, since I like you so very much."

"Very, very much?" Myrtus grinned, leaning close.

Veronica giggled.

"Very, very."

He nudged his forehead against hers.

"Then actually..." his voice pitched lower. "That means you love me, doesn't it? Say it properly, Miss Wei."

Veronica's cheeks blushed and she grinned.

"All right, Mr. Daedjian. I love you. Do you love me?"

"That I do," he crooned, squeezing her hand. "I do love you."

"Awesome."

It was to nobody's surprise at work that they became a confirmed couple. The software programmers (Myrtus vowed to finally learn all their names properly) were entirely happy for Veronica. Davidson immediately invited them to go out dancing with him and Samantha. Rubellin complained heartily about how terribly mushy it all was. Tenax had no objections to mush, and in fact rather liked the secondhand exposure to different foods, music, and movies. Myrtus and Veronica continued to stumble harmlessly against each other's different cultures anyway, and that he found supremely amusing still.

For once, Myrtus wasn't confused by Veronica's human hyperboles. It was simply awesome.

Finis


End file.
